Can a Pottery Studio Help Me Make Friends?
Club visit to Alfred University, Members Touring the University Kiln Room
Years ago I started learning how to make pottery by taking a pottery class at the Turk Hill Craft school in Fairport, NY. It was a new adventure for me, because at the time, I had never taken a pottery class or worked with clay before.
Up until then, my experience with art had been limited to high school classes, and a few electives in college. My instructors were typically disinterested, and my fellow students were sleep deprived or absent from class altogether.
But that first class I took, with the memorable Deborah Bendetto, would change my life, and it would elevate arts importance to me, both in value as an avenue of expression and community.
The Importance of Community in Creating Friendships
I remember that first class fondly, up until that point my only interaction with the instructor (Deb) had been in passing at the Lewiston Arts Festival. Our conversation was fast paced, hilarious, and centered on the benefits and effectiveness of the “Pee Buddy”.
Class started, and I struggled with wedging, centering and all the things one struggles with when they first learn how to make pottery. Deb was talkative, full of energy, and chatty with everyone. She did her demo quickly, asked a copious amount of questions, and had the whole class talking.
My clay skills would soon improve over time. And I would go on to take courses with other instructors. But my respect for Deb and the community she created in that class that night has stuck with me to this day.
The conversations she started, energy she brought and the skills she taught helped create an environment where we could let our guard down. We could vent about work, connect with one another and ultimately create friendships, as part of a community.
But wait, what are friends and why do they matter?
One of my favorite lines to use at the pottery club when someone is struggling with a project goes like this, “We can go far by ourselves, but we can go much further with friends.”
While I typically break the line out when someone is worried about asking for help, and it’s usually met with scoffs and eye rolls, the implied meaning is that sometimes friends can help us achieve more than we can do just on our own.
A famous quote, often attributed to William Shakespeare, reinforces that thought. Shakespeare stated that a friend is "one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become and still, gently allows you to grow.”
Friends are supportive, they are there through the ups and downs, and with their support we can grow. But we all have different ideas on what constitutes a good friend. In fact, in some cases not everyone we know may truly be a friend.
In an article by Holley Tiret, of the Michigan University Extension, “Not everyone we know is considered a friend. Most people are acquaintances that you either admire or not. And there is a difference between being a friend and being friendly and respectful with someone.”
Why does it have to be so difficult making friends as adults?
So maybe real friendship is not always that clear cut. And maybe that’s part of the reason making friends as an adult is so challenging.
Author Paul Sanders feels that the issue with making adult friends stems from a group of things, not just one singular cause. Sanders goes on to probe friendship and all the different ways our past experiences and fears can prevent us from opening up.
So friendships are complicated, open to interpretation, and overwhelming. Well, sign me up then.
But, no really, I want that. If friendships were easy, would they help us grow, make us stronger, or make life more interesting?
Join our Pottery Club
When we set out to create Wheel & Slab, we aimed at making a space that was stress free, community focused, and capable of creating social interaction. In doing so we’ve welcomed new members at all different stages of life.
We have the new-to-college undergraduates, who pull all-nighters, and find ways to sneak snacks from the dining hall. We have recent grads just starting their careers, and getting used to the 9 to 5 grind. We have experienced professionals, busy parents, and semi-retired grandparents.
While we may work out of a pottery studio, our club is much more than that. It's a diverse community, full of like-minded individuals, who are passionate about clay, and always interested in learning something new.
If you are willing to work on making friends, join our club. We promise that our facilitators will always aim to create a welcoming environment, just like Deb Benedetto did for me years ago.
Article Sources
Sanders, Paul. “Why It's Hard to Make Friends, and What to Do About It.” Lifehack, https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/why-its-hard-make-friends-and-what-about.html. Accessed 30 November 2022.
Tiret, Holly. “What is friendship? - Healthy Relationships.” MSU College of Agriculture and Natural Resources, 21 June 2022, https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/what-is-friendship. Accessed 30 November 2022.
“Making Friends As an Adult: Why Pottery Class Doesn’t Work.” Medium, https://medium.com/@apotofteaandapen/making-friends-as-an-adult-c48720673bc6. Accessed 30 November 2022.
